Contentment

Contentment is something I rarely felt as an artist because I was always chasing the next medium, the next technique, and of course the biggest quagmire of them all “style“. The notion of style is so misunderstood but everybody knows it when they see it. As artists we are often somewhat mystified by our own style or we have a hard time defining it because we are so close to our own work. Some people will proclaim that they don’t have a style… they surely do but they are not content with it which is normal.

Well, I realized a couple days ago that I’m finally content. My own art brings me joy not only from each step of the process but I can view my own stuff and be just amused and happy with it (weird huh?).

I’m really glad I reignited my art journey back in 2020 it got me out of my 12 year funk of not making much art. Before my hiatus, I kept trying to merge a darker and grittier comic book style with some anime influences but that art wasn’t authentically me. 1 or 2 years ago I think I was still chasing that style and I made it to wow others but when I looked at it, I felt nothing. I would periodically get burnt out of the chase and the I would do some cartooning to lift my spirits so my current style was always there but underdeveloped.

I recently found these reference and abstraction studies from 2020 that really move towards my current cozy style. So I would find visual references of real people and simplify them into a cartoon style. I found them cute and charming but I was never motivated to make my brand cute or charming. I never thought it would take me another 4 years of work and study to finally understand why I need to make more art like this for myself:

Ottomans 1 - Taken from some real-life reenactors As a disclaimer I never want to fetishize or make fun of traditional garb but I do like drawing clothing in general and especially those from different periods of history and cultures.

Ottomans 2 - Some more silly poses, still makes me chuckle

Peruvian Traditional Garb - Again taken from real photos and abstracted.

Peruvian Traditional Garb 2 - Much thicker M nib used for these.

While the angsty teen version of me may not have imagined my work being quite so cartoony and silly, I think they are more authentic to my personality. It’s not the dark themes and monsters lurking around every corner that I really want to put out into the world either. There’s enough of that and I still like it but as an adult I have found that rather than being a mirror that is a reflection of the darkness I see around me I’m choosing to maybe bounce some light off of that mirror.